It's a frequent question and one there's no easy answer to except to say that we are all tested and that it's the way we deal with adversity that makes us the people we are.
I am not sermonising this morning. I've already done a bit of that on Twitter when asked the above question. Instead I want to tell you a story. Hankies out now.
Last year I married a youngish couple. Many wedding couples are settled and in their thirties before they get married. This couple was different. They were early twenties and local. They had a council house, a child just starting school and twins. The twins were pushed up the aisle at the wedding in their double pram. They were late walkers.
They were late in everything and finally their young mum took them to the doctors.
After months of tests the diagnosis was stark. They were suffering a degenerative disease and were not expected to live long. Both of them.
This news made me angry with God to the point of shouting at Him fairly frequently. You can imagine what it did to the family.
The news spread around the village and what was evident was the feeling of impotence we all felt. There was nothing any of us could actually do.
I offered everything I had including money. The couple refused to accept anything from anyone to begin with but slowly an acceptance of their situation has settled upon them. No one has any idea how long the twins have got. A charity has taken up the cause and they go off to a day centre everyday and most days their eldest child goes with them. They need to spend as much time together as a family as possible. To enjoy what ever time they have left with the twins is their one aim now.
Everyone in the village is aware of the situation. The feeling of needing to help is apparent. Everyone wants to do something but at a local level the couple are still refusing help...they don't want people to feel sorry for them and I have to respect their wishes and I ring them rather than embarrass them by visiting.
What is real is the feeling that everyone has for this family. This is something I devoutly wish had never happened. These two did not deserve to be tested in this way but in the end they are becoming people I am proud of, no histrionics, no self pity, just a sort of world weary acceptance.
I pray they will get another Christmas with their twins and I pray that the eldest child is able to laugh and enjoy it as much as possible. Those of you who pray I know will do just that. Thank you.
3 comments:
What a terribly sad story. It is obvious that you and seemingly the whole community care very deeply for this poor young couple.
As you say, since they apparently prefer to 'go it alone', all you can do is to pray for them,
and have a 'safety blanket' ready to catch them when the inevitable happens.
I will of course be among those praying for them.
Indeed a sad, sad story.
Praying for them and all involved.
Jean, as you describe it, a very sad story, but the couples forbearance and fortitude is something which only few will have.
It reminds me about my family history research, where I discovered that my father, the youngest of 13, of which only 11 survived, this in the early to mid-20th Century. The further back I go, the more early deaths of children are revealed. I cannot hope to understand the trauma that my ancestors must have undergone by these bereavements, other then to think that surely they must have been borne with similar fortitude, as early death was part of life in those days.
It is particularly moving, when they go on to have more children, and one of the later ones is named for the one who died - the psychology of this defeats me, but the longing and underlying grief are self evident.
These days the loss of a child is so much rarer, that it effects many more than the immediate family - I wonder what our ancestors would think about this, I am sure they would understand, but perhaps wonder why we are not looking for God's help in it, so many today do not have the comfort and solace of faith and the knowledge of God, through Jesus to help them.
I still don't understand why bad stuff happens, but accept it unwillingly as another aspect of our relationship with God, which never promised that life would be easy.
Post a Comment