Monday 24 June 2019

Visitors!

I had decided not to go out yesterday..birthday not withstanding. The weather didn’t help but I realised the chance of finding a garage open near at hand was very slim. I settled down for a quiet birthday.
The first visitor arrived soon after.
The second came just after I had had a sketchy lunch. The third an hour or so later.... you are getting the picture I’m sure.
There was only one of these ladies that I recognised...and it was the wonderful woman who had looked after me and David when he was dying.
After they had all gone away I realised.
I must be on a list somewhere in the parish as a poor old lady who needs visiting...
Argggggghhhhh,
This not only did not make me happy, it made me positively furious!
The assumption that now I’m old I might not have friends is completely wrong.
I wonder though how often I’ve drawn the same conclusion in my life time.
So just to be plain. I don’t need to be visited....I can still get out and about, I have friends, no family but friends near at hand if I need them.
Take me off all lists please! Arghhh!


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1 comment:

UKViewer said...

I would describe it as good pastoral care. After all, you were and remain a member of their community, whether you like it or not. They are just doing what God tells them to do - to comfort the lonely.

And they will know your situation very well. We have many widows in our parish, both men and women, all of whom live alone, but with family nearby, but many of them value our visiting, particularly if they are unable to make it to church for services. We take Home Communion to them. One such lady living in a care home has no family at all since her husband died. When I first came to this parish, they both made me welcome. They didn't ignore me, but happily talked to me, shared their stories as I shared mine and when I heard their life stories, I was thrilled to know them.

Now Shirley is totally incapacitated, bed ridden, but with all of her marbles. She is interested in everything and everyone, so our visits are just a few of those who visit her regularly. Someone visits almost daily and she is always delighted to see us. We are her life line to her former busy life in the parish and the local community, where she and her husband served as local councilers for many years.

She could be lonely, even in a care home, as she is unable to join in the social events and mealtimes, being confined to her room, with the only constant companion her TV. But she has a telephone installed and uses it to keep in touch with friends etc. And invites them to visit.

She has never complained about her situation, she is able to function well apart from her incapacity and is still involved in local politics. A life long Labour Supporter with much to share. I love and respect her ability to survive all that she has been through with an attitude of joy in what life she has left to her.