Isolation. 2.

I am getting used to being alone now....it’s another week before my food shopping arrives.. but I can manage with what’s already in the fridge...I have food in my freezer and dried foods too...so for the moment I am fine. Next weekend I will have a Sainsbury shop. It’s strange how slowly I am accepting that being alone is now normal...I can talk on the phone but even that seems unimportant now. I am busy keeping my tears at bay if I’m honest. Mother’s Day was lovely once...now it’s a cruel reminder that my babies have died before me. I will sit and remember them and play the music they filled the house with when they were growing up....though I may draw the line at hard rock. I’m not as miserable as I sound...I can do this...I am used to my own company. If I self isolate I am fortunate in having a big comfortable house and a very large garden. My garden is in fact half an actual field...which had cows on it on it when we bought it...since then I have planted about seventy trees and shrubs....it’s not a field now, more a place of contemplation. During this period I will spend time on my own by chatting as I go....I talk to my husband and my children but also to my dog Crispin. A very talented friend made me beautiful sculptures of his huge golden retrievers head. It’s very easy to explain life to him as I go. I don’t think I’m going balmy....it’s just me being me....sometimes daft, often cheerful and able to scold myself out of the gloom....I can do this....plus a bottle of wine will be opened to accompany the strange mix of food at lunch time. Cheers!