Stay safe.

Two iconic words are striking me just now. Wimbledon.., the wonderful . And Glastonbury. Well! I never went to watch the tennis but the TV provided me with matches to gasp over for very many years. I did go to Glastonbury once. My daughter lived quite close to this massive event and one year she took me to see what went on. I tried very hard. I really did but it was thronged with tents and groups smoking, drinking , cheering and clapping. We didn’t stay long...my daughter got me out and I didn’t go again..it was just too noisy and I was already too old at around fifty to try to join in. Wimbledon was different. I never went there but I became hooked on watching it on the TV. This was mostly due to the fact that after giving birth to my son my health visitor asked for it be on whilst she observed me breast feeding my son. Once the tennis was watched that first year I have stayed with it for most years. So this year lockdown doesn’t seem to have actually stopped both events. But this year they are inevitably different. It is though inevitably a reminder of my past life when I had children. I am so glad that I did have two children. The fact that both of them have died hurts daily, especially in midsummer. But for me life goes ....for the moment anyway. But I am now a different woman after weeks of self isolation. I am not complaining about this...I am dealing with it by just shrugging it all off mostly...Over the weekend nothing I had planned actually happened...I failed yet again to go out to meet a friend...... I just feel safe at home...and that’s all I need right now. My memories of past times stay with me but ."Stay safe." are the words I now live by. Pathetic I know but it’s working for me right now. And the news that the tennis is cancelled is just all part of the general angst, oh dear!