Staying home.

OK the decision is taken. I am not going. Some time during the night I reviewed last years stay in the hotel and the people I met there and realised that I just didnt want or need to do it all again. I have a fine warm home. I have food and drink. I am used to my own company..and I remembered how everyone last year tried too hard to sound brave and adventurous...and I am not going to do it this year. I accept my aloneness which is not the same as lonliness. I have a phone...two actually, a landline and a mobile. I can chat if I want to but Ive got used to being on my own now. Ive had my Christmases with my children which were wonderful. I have had lovely times with my husbands . Now I have a comfortable home full of goodies and theres only me in it so I can eat what I want, drink what I want. ...walk the garden singing carols, and frightening the passersby. I havnt gone barmy...I just dont need the drive to Southend or the stay in a hotel with other lonely people. Because I don't feel lonely or deprived. I have outlived my children and husbands..but they are still here in my head so I can chat to them as I go...watch everything I want to on the TV and telephone old friends if I need to. So decision made...I am not going with all the other solitary folk..I am fine with my own company and probably safer too. ..Ok...