Staying cheerful.

Gosh I am fed up! Getting up this morning has been hard. I could easily have stayed in bed but no I made myself move. Coming downstairs my first thing was to go outside to look at the damage to the end of the house. Its still there...I had hoped I had dreamt it. but no...its still there as is everything else I didnt want to be real. My house is warm and comfortable..so I have nothing to complain of at all. But soon I must try to order more food since the waiting time last week was nearly a fortnight. Oh dear! I am not used to being depressed...but really theres not much to be cheerful about right now. I have no idea when work can start on the mess outside...so I have to learn to live with it. And that I can do. I am drinking far more just now than I used to. Bottles of booze used to last a couple of weeks....not any more! I never get drunk...I am much too scared of that..but my two evening drinks have now become three or four! Some days I wonder if I should simply find a hotel or an old persons home and move out for a bit. But I cant do that. I would have to come back to check it out every day..Going down into the village will be be an outing but not yet...its cold and windy out there so staying at home seems the best option. I will try to stay cheerful ...I dont want to depress anyone else. But its getting harder to smile bravely in the face of disaster...well...not quite thst ...yet! It just a bit of a mess! Well....