Oh dear. This situation is starting to impact me in worrying ways. Yesterday I had two visitors both of whom seem to be coping a lot better than I am. My first visitor used to be in charge the local life guards. She rang exactly the right people to find out about the cruise ship now visible from my windows...they gave her information that I couldn’t have got any other way. It’s going to be there for a while it seems...the poor man who died on board was part of the foreign crew and it was not the virus that killed him. So that’s all right then. Having "The World" clearly visible from my windows is keeping me in touch with my past life...the one of cruising where I arrived in wonderful places regularly. Even if it does all start up again at some point in the future it seems unlikely that I will join in again . Staying in some of Cornwalls fine hotels occasionally will serve the same need...I think. There’s still a lot to explore near at hand. Paying my gardener is a problem not yet solved. After I’d given him the cheque yesterday I got round to checking my account. All three cheques he’s received have not been cashed....the poor man is working for nothing! There has to be a solution to this but as yet I don’t have it. He’s not telling me and he’s not complaining. But I have obviously got to do something.....I just don’t know what. But yesterday I had conversations with two people...as well as cheerful greetings with neighbours and passers by...so I am still part of the human race...just about. The sun shines, its looking beautiful out there...I just have to find a way of paying my gardener. Living alone is not a problem...odd voices from the past keep me connected with the woman I used to be...the globe trotter still lurks inside....and I’m just grateful that I got around the world when I did...because I suspect that at the end of all this it might not be there anymore. Not as I knew and loved it anyway.
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