Drinking as a hobby!

I woke late after a good nights sleep . So things are not all bad. My first action was to get dressed and go outside to walk the garden. In the early morning light everything looks beautiful and normal. I then have to remind myself that actually nothing is normal. Downstairs I made a coffee and sat down to drink it... getting my head around daily lfe is getting harder. I just want everything to go back to normal...or whats normal for me anyway. This does not seem possible right now. And yet I am one of the fortunate ones. My life now is not very different from what Ive grown used to. At some stage I must phone the local hotel to make sure that I am still booked in for Christmas because nothing thing feels dependable at all. The pile of cards waiting to be written sits on my desk. So I have to remind myself that its still November... plenty of time...in theory...and thats part of the problem. Lacking the need to do anything of substance it would be very easy to just drift..aimlessly along which is what in essence I am doing. Checking my fridge I have enough food because I am not eating much in all this period of apparent waiting...though I have no idea what I am waiting for. I seem to have enough booze in various places to keep me happy whilst watching the TV in the evening. If I end up as a slightly drunk old woman watching rubbish every night so be it...hic!