Government ?

Oh dear, what a mess!
When Mrs May went to the country last year to get a better bargaining position for Brexit she came a bad cropper. It’s been downhill all the way since then.
Much of this unhappy saga controlling the headlines right now is not so much about immigration as poor management.
I feel sorry for our late Home Secretary. I suspect none of this was really her fault. I’m afraid the real culprit must be our Prime Minister.
It really is time to call it a day surely?
In order to stay in office she is now surrounded by people like Gove and Boris.
And for Gove to try to speak up for Amber Rudd only made a bad situation worse.
Their response to all of this is clearly why their attacks on Corbyn have doubled over the last week.
It’s all very sad.
Who knew what,has long ceased to be the nub of the mess.
It no longer seems valid as we now realise that they were all either lying or inept to a dangerous degree.
May's disappointment at the polls the last time she went to the country to ask us all for support must be the main reason why it’s not going to be repeated.
But the culprits in all of this are those who pushed Cameron into the Brexit poll. Since then we have been governed by people who are desperately trying to make sense of what we do in the future when we stand alone.
None of the portents look good just now.
But no more lies please...it just makes it worse when you are found out.



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Brave new world.

Thanks for all the advise I got about what seems to be a bot sending me messages. That was not something I’d ever considered...but it does make sense.
Writing a daily blog is now an integral part of my life.
It helped the grieving process as I said goodbye to my loved ones..it makes me think about what’s important to me and what is merely the trivia of life.
Sorting out the scribble that sometimes occupies my mind is a valuable part of the process and has been for very many years.
In my barn here in Tregear Vean is a box containing old exercise books, jottings going back decades..plus badly typed novels.
They will never see the light of day I’m sure but I value the fact that they represent years of my putting pen to paper to record my feelings as well as my movements.
Acquiring a bot is not something I’d ever even considered..it’s a pretty weird thing to happen but then everything I do daily is weird for a woman who learned to read with the comics, Dandy and Beano as well as the ingredients of sauce bottles on the table.
My first scribblings were done on slates with chalk. Easy to wipe clean and start again.
We have advanced if that’s the right word, so far in the last eighty years it’s now hard to see what’s next.
Waiting just around the corner might be another big step of technology ready to change minds and habits.
I’m glad to have lived through this brave new world...thank you God.




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Anonymous advice!

Ok. This is off my usual topic range but it is happening.
An anonymous person is sending me a lot of so called comments on my blog. These are no problem . As soon as I see Anonymous I press delete. Gone.
I don’t read them at all, just delete them from my post still unopened.
But this week I got curious and read a couple after finding a whole row of them.
They are telling me to buy cialis. It’s not something I’ve heard of before so I googled it.
It seems someone is giving me advice on sexual problems.
Well!
As this drug treats erectile dysfunction I’m not quite sure why I’m getting it.
Maybe Anon thinks I’m a bloke. But I doubt it. The Anonymous comments have been coming for at least a year..it has become obsessive.
The person sending them seems to be having a lot of sleepless nights judging by when they arrive....so that could be a clue! Or an explanation of sorts ......
I’m not going to start publishing them. They are not actually rude or even upsetting...it’s just a bit of a puzzle. And I honestly don’t need that particular treatment!
The mindset of someone constantly sending anonymous comments to a blog written by someone they don’t know is clearly a bit worrying...but as they really don’t bother me I am not take any further steps. Just one bit of advice from me to the sender. Grow up!


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Shopping locally .

Us old people who live out in the country are very lucky old people. I do most of my shopping on line. But this is not without the regret factor.
I used to go into Truro to shop. I still do but very infrequently.
Food shopping which is the big shop once a week is so much easier to do on line.
Yesterday I sent in my Tesco order to come on Saturday. This morning I realised that I was almost out of coffee so I went back to order to add a jar.
Easy.
I do also shop in the village but these occasions are getting less.
This wonderful system of shopping on line is a procedure I’ve passed on to my elderly friends. Once experienced, it really could be a life saver.
Years ago I held a class on the internet in my sitting room with about ten old ladies with lap tops on their knees. This was before iPads were invented.
About ten ladies sat diligently setting up their accounts. Several of them are now aloft but at least two of them still use this method. The van arrives. A man carries in boxes of groceries and puts them all in the kitchen.
It’s just too easy and not without its guilt.
The local shops are missing our custom.
I do understand this so I try at least once a week to shop personally locally. Especially at the chemist which would be sorely missed by us all. We have now all signed two petitions to keep it open.
Shopping used to be easy when I was young with a family to feed.
Carrying heavy bags full of ready dinners is not easy these days so shopping by the internet is the obvious choice.
I do apologise though to the local coop...but needs must. And this way no one in the village sees my wine bottles as I clank around .



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Apple Watch!

I think I’ve given up on my Apple Watch.
About a week ago the transparent front detached from the body and is held in place by a tiny strap. It wobbles when I move. I rang Apple support. They had clearly never encountered this problem before and to try to fix it have sent me a small box with free postage to send it back so they can look at it.
This is very kind of them but there are some complicated instructions to follow before posting it back.
I did try. But trying to separate it from the Apple phone is proving more complicated than I can manage....not physically of course .
I have now switched it off.
At some stage I will get it to an Apple store and let them do their best...or worst..
I have enjoyed wearing it and watching the butterflies I put on it’s bright face.
Occasionally it gave me information I wasn’t expecting like telling me which gate to go to in an airport. I still don’t know how it did this and that of course is part of its wonder!
Where ever I have been in the world it has told me about the weather in Truro!
I have now returned to my men’s Longines large face watch...it’s not the same but it is both large and elegant.
Apple did their best. The failure is mine, not theirs...so bye bye Apple Watch...enough is enough...


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Solar panel scam.

You may remember that last year I got caught in a scheme to "look after" solar tiles.
I had paid money up front for a year when they decided it was time to come for their annual visit, to keep them running properly.
The man who arrived detailed several thousands pounds worth of work needed on my roof and in my loft.
It was a scam. A local man told me that none of the detailed work needed to be done.
Since then other ladies in this parish with solar tiles have been contacted.
A friend told me that she’d been contacted by them to come and do the survey.
I told her of my experience so she checked and found other women in the parish had also been targeted.
She has now cancelled the direct debit but I am wondering how many more people have been caught.
The firm is still operating and presumably makes a great deal of money from us old women.
I try to spread the word but clearly a lot are falling for it. Like all confidence tricksters they are very plausible and charming. And us old ladies enjoy being talked to and flattered.
I shudder to think how much money this group must make in a year as this is repeated over the country.
Let me keep repeating. No maintenance is needed for solar tiles. Anyone offering it is probably bent.
And no matter how flattering it is to be talked to by handsome young men please don’t give them any money!
They really are all out to get us....or our cash anyway.


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Forward planning.

We should be used to the vagaries of the British weather by this time. But after the glorious sun last week waking up to a dark grey misty morning is very unnerving.
My immediate reaction is to stay in bed for a little while.
I’m fighting it.
But the news currently assailing my ears does not make for comfortable snoozing.
The political parties are not inspiring at all right now. May and Corbyn are not getting my support for different reasons.
Trump and Macron are meeting currently...but this unlikely couple are not getting my vote either.
So it’s all negative just now for me...which is unusual.
I have been casting a look at the Cunard cruises for the rest of the year but non of them are enthusing me.
A friend here at the weekend has just returned from a river cruise. This sounded excellent but almost all of them include flights.
I have avoided flying since the last time I got caught up in a huge queue in the airport.
I have enough brochures here now to spend a day exploring various possibilities
and pondering .
But first I need to get out of bed!


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Memories?

In a sudden rush of blood to the head yesterday I decided to change all my bedding.
The sheet, duvet cover and bedspread were all removed.
Putting the clean ones on held an unexpected challenge. I couldn’t remember how to get the duvet inside it’s cover!
I knew I used to have a method but couldn’t remember it!
I went for a coffee.
Eventually I did it the hard way by which I mean it took far too long and I got hot and bothered trying!
My visitors arrived and I realised that I’d forgotten to put the roast in the oven.
We ate very late....
Today my memory is in good working order...I remember yesterday’s failures very clearly indeed.
If this what old age is going to be like I have no wish to join in....so I’m treating yesterday as a temporary aberration. Memory loss is a very scary thought...all I have left of my loved ones are my memories.
Later I collected up lots of old photographs and got them onto my iPad. At least I remembered how to that....
So I now have pics of my children, dogs and husbands...not necessarily in that order where I can find them easily.
It feels like fighting back... but it may well be me clutching at ancient straws..
Straws in the wind....but good ones...there is so much to be thankful for...and I am..thank you God.



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Running marathons.

The London marathon is being held this weekend. It’s going to be a hot one by all accounts.
I shall not be watching it but there was a time when it was required viewing in our house.
We needed to check on a relation.
David’s brothers wife had taken up running in her old age.
This news alarmed us at first. Madge Sharples was around seventy at the time.
She looked frail but actually she was as tough as any old boot.
Running had never been part of her life but she had something to prove to her husband who took a lofty view on all this unnecessary activity.
She trained for it every day by running to work...about five miles there and five back.
On the great day no one expected her to finish but she did.....eventually.. for a year or so she captured the imagination of the nation.
The book she wrote was called. "Fun at fifty. Sin at sixty."
I don’t know if it sold.
Long distance runners of note sent her presents of special trainers, flimsy shorts etc. ,
She enjoyed frequent requests to appear on the television.
In her old age she became a celebrity, even at one stage having her own show on Southern television.
Madge proved that giving up at seventy was not an option.
She didn’t live long enough to know that I’d become a priest in my old age.
No doubt she’d have had something cogent to say about it.
But I won’t be watching the run this morning and I hope they don’t overheat en route.
Run on up there Madge...you set the trend!

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Safe for bottoms.

Glorious weather here . The sun shines, the wind is a gently rippling breeze. In one week blossom has arrived everywhere. Apple and pear blossom covers several trees. I have one magnolia flower out . This is the first bright glory for this young plant that I put in four years ago.
A visitor yesterday asked if I’d got much garden. When I said, "Look up there" her astonishment was clear.
All people see from the road is a long six foot Cornish hedge. The gasp from my visitor yesterday was a good moment. It is pretty spectacular at the moment.
Putting benches and chairs out this week got my gardener activated.
"Look here." He held out an iron chair and pressed its seat.
The metal had become dangerous having been outside for at least ten years.
We agreed that no bottom should rest on this chair again.
We collected another three similar chairs, all dangerous now to sit on. Small metal spikes shot up when pressed.
They are all now in the barn, waiting to go to a better home....or their final resting  place.
But the garden is safe.
Wicker chairs and wooden benches present no hazard to any visiting bottoms...we are ready!
Any stray visitors can rest easy...as can I, plastered with sun screen as I stroll, thank you God.




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Government by Tweet?

Last night, switching on the TV I found James Comey on Newsnight. This was an extraordinary interview. His condemnation of Mr Trump spoke to all the doubts I think we all have.
The statement that there is no one in the White House to contain the President was very worrying but has he considered Mrs Trump ? .
This lady must not be impressed by all the lewd stories finding their way out about her husbands previous relationships.
On other programs I have seen recently Melania has shown both courage and coolness in the face of mounting hysteria.
None of us could fail to be worried by the rhetoric coming from the White House especially the declarations about the size of his bombs...
I can’t remember another time when World War 3 seemed possible following the whim of the president.
Right at the beginning of this saga I expressed my trust in those in the White House, responsible for containing this person who is behaving more like an autocratic King than a president. Now I’m not too sure after the wholesale sacking of those who disagree with him.
I used to be fairly amused by this saga but now I see the dangers. That Trump calls for the imprisonment of people who have offended him without any court sitting in judgement is the most worrying . Emperor Trump claps his hands and makes extraordinary statements and threats. His goading of Russia, of North Korea and anyone else who annoys him when he first wakes up and tweets is very risky.
Government by tweet would have seemed balmy a year ago. Now it seems normal. For how long I wonder?


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No electricity!

Oh dear.
That’s the mildest expletive I can offer just now. Oh bloody dear gets closer.
I went to make my lunch yesterday to find the oven switched off. It’s an Everhot so it should have been hot already. However it was cold.
Trying to get something hot for lunch I switched to David’s emergency oven ( don’t ask) and that worked OK but then switched off all the electricity in the house immediately.
With no electricity anywhere I was jolted into action. Several mobile phone calls meant that I spoke to a man who over the phone told me how to get the lights on etc but not to touch the ovens.....
The sun shone so it wasn’t cold so I waited for the man to arrive....
He didn’t.
Having a house with no electricity at all was actually quite frightening...not only could I not cook, I couldn’t use the phone, or switch the radio or television on.
I felt cut off up here on my own with no means of communication. Thank goodness for my mobile phone.
At one point I realised that something was working when I got an email pinging it’s way into my inbox.
I had some electricity upstairs!
It was taking on the stuff of nightmare!
I rang the number on my emergency switch. A cheerful young man gave me several instructions from miles away...
They worked!
By following his lead I finally got everything working again bit by bit.
Last night I checked everything...the cooker was warming up.
This morning waking early I went down to check. The Everhot cooker was hot!
I have no idea what happened. I am just praying for a quieter day today!


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My black friends.

When I was a girl in Rochdale my two best friends were black.
There were very few West Indian children there in the fifties so my friends stood out.
They were the children of a West Indian cricketer , Ellis Achong. He had settled in Lancashire and bought a small pub near to where I lived. His children went to private schools whilst I was at the the local council primary school.
When I passed for the High School I was introduced into a new world of subjects which were often a great puzzle to me.
Mr Achong was I found very well educated and very patient. He talked me through the mysteries of algebra, French and geometry. He was careful never to do my homework for me but showed me how to do it for myself.
This help was invaluable for me..especially as his pub was the one my father drank in most weekends.
During several long icy winters when fuel for the open fire was hard to come by warmth could always be found in their kitchen whilst I struggled with arcane problems......or maths as I now know it.
School holidays found me playing out, often with the black children. I never really saw them as in any way different. But sometimes, walking through the town with one of them I got called names that I didn’t really understand then.
They were a family I loved dearly...when they went back to Trinidad letters and cards arrived regularly.
I heard that Ellis had become a politician in his old age.
I sometimes wonder what happened to the children..I assume they returned to the paradise Ellis had described to me on freezing cold nights in Rochdale.
But their colour was irrelevant. I never saw their blackness, just their kindness, their laughter and their sheer joy of living.
To send people back to the West Indies after being settled here for many years is a cruel twist of fate. I am glad it seems to have been stopped.




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Glad to be home.

It’s dark, damp and windy here today. Nothing in the news cheers me up. And yet I am very glad to be home right now. Having placed my garden furniture ready for summer sun last week there has been no sign of it for several days.
The garden , much later than usual now looks poised to be covered in blossom soon. Great buds are fattening up daily...
Somehow in the midst of all the global angst the words " East, West, homes best" echo through my head every time I hear the news.
All the stuff I take away on cruises has been put back into their usual positions.
Light bulbs needing to be replaced means that I have to ask any unsuspecting person who crosses my threshold this week to climb a step ladder which is now placed strategically in my husbands office, together with the long lasting bulbs...
All of this is the consequence of old age...but I really do need to ask for help occasionally.
Most visitors know they may well be asked to climb a ladder somewhere in the house. They always seem take it in their stride thankfully.
Asking for help does not sit easily with me. I don’t look too decrepit yet I don’t think but things I took in my stride just a year ago are proving testing now.
It’s all part of the world I now live in...I am a very lucky woman in all sorts of ways...
Complaining about the things I can’t do anymore is more than compensated by the glory all around me.
The instinct to batten down the hatches during all the present global angst just makes me appreciate what I do have. Thank you God.


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Morality?

Morally unfit to be president .
Words that strike a chill into my heart.
Trump has sacked a man who is getting his own back. But if only a tiny amount of truth is revealed then we are in a whole new area.
I think we have all realised that  Trump is not interested in the truth, indeed fails to recognise it when he sees it.
But the latest revelations are not about truth telling , they are about someone whose morality is suspect.
We were given some knowledge of this before the election. His words about what women will let you do if you were famous made many of us squirm. Since then though other scenes have been played out and what is now under discussion is whether the Russians have got "dirt" on him.
According to Comey there may be tapes showing some pretty lewd behaviour.
But of course Comey was sacked. So is this new book an attempt to get his own back?
Revenge is a poor substitute for truth but whether Comey is lying or exaggerating we shall never really know.
But to use the language Trump is now using , calling Comey a slime ball suggests a man with something to hide.
And this is the man who organised an air strike a few days ago.
At the very least his morality is in question....his truthfulness was relinquished some time ago.
How long this can go on I don’t know. He won the election. Many people are still relieved that he beat his female opponent .
But the world is now a much more dangerous place due to his tweeting rhetoric.
Help!



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Unwanted emails!

Over the last few days I’ve received several emails asking me to tick a box if I wish to get more emails from them. I assume we have all been getting them.
I have yet to tick any box. Keeping my emails down would be good for me. Every morning I go down the list deleting at least seventy percent of my inbox.
Many of the mails are from good causes that I support but I don’t necessarily want to keep getting their emails...
My biggest band of unwanted mail is still from Anonymous.
I get at least fifteen of these every day . I don’t read them , I just go down the list and press delete.
If someone has made it illegal to send unwanted emails that would be excellent.
On most mail there is an unsubscribe option. This makes it easy.
The one I’ve tried to get rid of most often is the cooking page from the New York Times. It arrives very late in the day with wonderful pictures of what I can cook.
I’ve tried to unsubscribe with no success. I’ve even spoken to someone about it but it seems that the only way to stop the pictures of food is to cancel the whole thing.
Since I enjoy reading most of the articles I have to accept those I don’t want.
It’s a silly little niggle I know.
Unwanted email is only a tiny problem and easy to deal with but it would be good to know that someone somewhere is trying to cut out the nuisance ones on our behalf.




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Bombing?

So it has happened. We and our allies have sent bombs to Syria. I am not rejoicing.
The mindset that thought it alright to use chemical weapons is not going to stop now. Rather, it may well make them determined that they will not be beaten by the threats from the West.
Listening to Trumps voice as he announced the bombing really was very worrying. He seems to have adopted the role of messiah, wreaking punishment on Assad. What his friend Putin makes of all this is not yet known but nothing good seems likely to follow. The Russians have supported Assad . They have also tried to kill two people in Salisbury......are they going to be content to sit quietly by whilst the West sends bombing raids to Syria?
Mrs Mays voice , solemn and determined sounded much like the one she used last year when calling a disastrous election.
It is being described as a highly successful mission but we can’t know the truth or otherwise of that.
If any human being was killed as part of this strike it makes us no better than those who use chemical warfare against their own people.
Assad was warned last year not to do it again....he has done. Why do we believe that one sort of violence can be cured by another?
The fall out from this will not go away easily. Tony Blair is still being blamed for us going to war in Iraq!
I fear that far from us being thanked or congratulated for our part in this we have joined the ranks of those who have contributed to the ills of the world.
I pray that no more bombs are dropped by anyone involved in this horrid episode....



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Friday 13th.

Up early I am trying not to get too concerned about the news. This is the morning my gardener is here. We have a lot to talk about.
Looking at photos from this period in former years I see that we are behind.
Usually blossom decorates every tree and shrub. This year it hasn’t happened.
I’m not sure why. The several camellias are covered with flowers.
The cherry trees, the ornamental pear, the apple trees are still slowly waking up.
Some shrubs have died in what really hasn’t been a cold winter. So we need to talk about what have to be taken out.
This conversation will be a relief alongside what I’m hearing on the radio.
War is clearly on its way.
My garden , a haven of peace is a place to go for solace during hard times.
Today I have a sermon to prepare for Sunday and most of the planning will be done in it. To walk the path right round it reduces tension...I walk it several times every day....what was once a cow field is now park land of beautiful proportions.
Yesterday I cleared out the summer house....very many dead wasps were swept up and cushions plumped.......
It’s a haven I value...well away from Trump and May.
It’s also a place to pray in....which is just as well because we have a lot to pray about!
It’s also Friday the 13th! Arghhh!


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Threats by tweet?

I was totally against us going to war with Iraq. We held a day of prayer in our church and gave everyone a candle to light as they sat in their pew. People I had never seen in church before arrived and stayed in the silence with heads bowed.
Tony Blair told us about the Iraqis weapons of mass destruction. This was a lie. There were none.
Now we have been given a just cause to support.....to prevent Assad from using chemical weapons against his own people.
But no matter how just, have we the moral right to join in with Trumps threats ?
The last time I felt such danger in the air was during the Cuban crisis when I prayed at my sleeping children’s beds, frightened by the thought of the danger nuclear war would bring to us all.
Today waging war by tweet is looking not only possible but probable.
Has the whole world gone mad?
Teresa May is considering joining in and is bringing her ministers back to Parliament early.
Starting a war didn’t do Blair any good. In fact it contributed to the rise of Isis and all the horrors that came with it.
We are all horrified by the use of chemical warfare in Syria..but how would bombing them make it any better?
My grandad, gassed during the First World War suffered its consequences for his whole life and finally died choking whilst I was with him.
It is an inhuman way of conducting war. But so is sending missiles to bomb the perpetrators.
Threats carried via tweet are bringing us closer to a catastrophe that no one wants...
You will not be surprised to learn that I am praying once again. Lord hear our prayer.





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Facebook.

I really don’t know what to make of the Facebook saga. I use it to keep in touch with old friends I never meet any other way. Over the years I have been aware of being targeted. If I’ve looked for something on Amazon, lots of similar objects arrive on my FB page. I have never responded to any of these.
I am told about people and events happening in Truro...so they use our geographical position to try to get our interest.
It’s all very worrying but I’m still using it.
My main beef is the way they have taken over the games apps. If I want to use an old game played for years I am now invited to play via Facebook. The photo that appears on these apps is my FB pic.
Clearly they have been very busy developing their own image too.
The political pieces are very anti Trump and always enjoyable to read.
So far I’ve not heard of anything damaging to me or anyone else.
I have used their quizzes, answered questions about my views and preferences..so someone somewhere might know a lot about me...
I get regular friend requests from handsome, bronzed blokes from other countries. I refuse them all.
The friends on FB are all people I know.
So although I hear all the complaints about Mark Zuckerberg I am not yet willing to pull out..
More details will emerge I expect. I shall read them with interest. How much we all as individuals might suffer intrusions into our WiFi lives has yet to be established...
Waiting in order to see.....





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War?

After the latest bombing attack in Syria where chemical weapons killed and maimed hundreds of people, countries all over the world condemned Assad , the man thought to be directly responsible.
All of that was essential I think but the rhetoric coming from the USA is I believe dangerous.
Whilst I was away I watched Fox News on the ships television and found it extremely worrying.
Interviewers asked..."Is this normal?" of many of Trumps utterances.
That was before the latest horror.
Descriptions of the White House internal fighting reveals why so many of his officials get sacked.
Trump says he will make a decision today and the threat clearly carries the very real risk of bombing. Any nuclear weapons would carry their own horror with them.
The quiet world I came home to this week is unlikely to experience any of these horrors but we are living in a smaller world than it used to be.
Putin, Trumps friend isn’t saying much just now....not in public anyway, but even he must not want a full scale war...
Trump , glorying in his power is making dire threats. This is I think intended to take away or deflect some of the domestic trouble he is in after the Stormy revelations of last week. A description of life in the West Wing tells of daily rows with his officials...he needs a distraction.
It’s all very very scary...not a situation anyone ever thought we would live through. It’s time for prayer. Now!


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Home!

I’m home. Getting here here was an amazingly fast journey once I’d got off the ship! It’s obvious that letting thousands of people off a ship needs organisation. It failed yesterday.
I escaped by breaking several rules...which we don’t need to list, after being sent from room to room looking for my "group" I complained that I was feeling like a yo-yo having gone up and down in packed lifts several times!
Once out picking up my baggage was much more complicated than usual but that done my lovely taxi driver was waiting...he picked me and my luggage up and drove for home fast.
There being little traffic on the road because it was Sunday he got me home around twelve thirty...which was a record...Southampton to Cornwall in three and half hours!
The sun shone on us all the way and once home I got out one of my sun loungers...
A glass of wine...sun on my face....home!
Wonderful!
Today I start the unpacking!


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Heading north.

We are reaching journeys end. Today is a sea day as we speed towards the Bay of Biscay to get to home waters.
I have been awake for hours, not wanting to miss a nine o’clock appointment made for me by my friend.
I am not looking forward to having a facial though. I’ve steered clear of these for many years...
My friend tells me it’s going to be very relaxing! So far it’s had the opposite effect.
I have enjoyed most of this cruise unlike the last one which I hated. We have seen lovely places and met new friends as well as old ones along the way.
I am not booking another one on board as seems to be the expectation and the custom.
I prefer to wait till I’m home to see how much I might be needed there before rushing into anything.
Everyone I’ve met on this trip is a dedicated cruiser....we have all done it lots of times before.
I admit to being slightly reluctant to becoming one of these or appearing to!
When I’m home I will enjoy looking at the brochures, choosing slowly and carefully for the times and places which suit me best.
This two week one doesn’t feel long enough for me..... I’m only just getting into my stride and it’s packing up time!
Lots of good things have happened, are happening...Thank you God.
PS.
I wrote the above yesterday but couldn’t get it posted. The internet was down .
Better luck today!




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Memories.

I am sitting on the top deck of this ship gazing out at the hills and the hotels dotted around them. Memories are pouring in. I was first here on a Titan tour where I met Joe. Joe was a Catholic priest and we became friends. He sent me flowers for my ordination and I treasure the memories.
I next came with my husband David. He had been before and loved it. We bought timeshare in one of the lovely hotels.and had three wonderful holidays until he died.
I did not always take my weeks in the aftermath of his death but then I came again and brought Michael who I had met on a cruise. He loved it and we had two laughter filled weeks here. And then he died too.
I haven’t used my time share since...I just arrive on a boat and remember with joy all the things I’ve done here . But every place I go has its memories.
I went to the cathedral with Joe, took trips to the north coast with Michael...ate out and walked a lot...they are all good memories of the dear people I have left behind...or have gone on before me...
Memory is a two edged sword..they are precious but often painful..
I am taking great care not to add another name to the list....


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Funchal.

We are approaching Funchal, Madeira. This is a place I know so well. David and I bought time share here many years ago so we came often...
Now I save my week to come for two weeks occasionally.
It is beautiful.
Approaching it by sea I can remember where everything is clearly.
Last time I was here I knew several people in the hotel...it was very happy couple of weeks.
This morning I shall get the shuttle bus into the town. I know all the shops well but my first stop is the cathedral. I shall stay for a service if there is one...my Easter prayer on the ship has not been as prayerful as I would wish....there have been too many distractions I’m afraid.
So many memories, so many lost friends and loved ones.
The last time I landed here I found all the shops closed but today being a Wednesday they should be open...and there are some very good shops here!
We were meant to be here at the beginning of the cruise but when our whole schedule was rerouted it went to the end...this is the last stop before the three day sail to get home.
As I like sea days that’s fine..I shall enjoy them....

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Island hopping.

I didn’t go far yesterday. I left the ship to walk into the town and realised very belatedly that I was doing the same thing that I did last year. I sat down on a bench for a while in lovely sunshine and then returned to the ship.
I have lost my spirit of adventure!
Today we are in Fuerteventura . I’ve never been here before so I will have a stroll around if it’s looking interesting but the the truth is that I shall have to force myself to go...
Here on board several friends mean that I’m never feeling sad or neglected...the main problem is keeping one of them at bay.
It’s quite nice to have male company most of the time...but I don’t need anything closer.....
After this stop we go back to Madeira and that’s our last stop before sailing for home.
This cruise is the shortest one I’ve ever done and I’m not sure I want to do another so short. I suppose it depends where it’s going...
My appetite has gone completely. I am just about eating enough to keep a sparrow alive whilst those around me are growing day by day...
This trip is different from all of my previous ones . It’s very busy and we are seeing some lovely places...
I have started a tan but even sitting in the sunshine has its dangers..
I’m not as miserable as I sound...let’s see what another glorious day will bring!


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Another pretty port.

Today we are in Grand Canaria. This has the pretty small town in it where I got conned last year.
Having gone into a jewellery shop to buy a pretty pendent I returned back to the ship and found myself replaying the encounter in my mind. It didn’t make sense and after I’d rung the phone number on the back of my debit card they found that yes indeed they had taken quite a lot of money out of my account.
I got it back eventually but the event has shaken my confidence.
I want to warn people on board but so far I’ve only told the people I share my table at dinner with.
I find myself unwilling to get off the ship today. I have become timid!
I am reluctant to go far....
The town itself is much like where I live in Cornwall with marinas full of lovely boats where last time I sat in the sun drinking a glass of wine, looking out to sea.
If I do that today I shall try not to be on my own....my usual confidence seems to have left me just now!
I’m not rushing to get out....and I am aware that several on board friendships have become fairly important to my self confidence....oh dear...
Meanwhile the world outside beckons...the sun shines...outside cars are rushing along the road with people going to work...
I am going to join in eventually....I’m just not rushing right now.


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Easter Day.

The cruise continues....all our itinerary has now changed. I am making friends, and renewing old ones...it’s all good. ...mostly.
We are Tenerife this morning. I have no tours booked so I’m not rushing to get up. I will step out later...God willing.
Because it is Easter Sunday...the wonderful day we celebrate the rising of Christ from His tomb.
I had anticipated spending this day in Madeira where I know the cathedral well. But I am saving that outing until we are on our way home.
Most people on board I think don’t have the same feeling about celebrating Easter that I do.
If I go out at all it will be to look for a church...
Failing that I can do my own thing on board.
My friends here don’t understand the significance of this day so I may be on my own for much of the time which is fine...I prefer it that way just now...
Peace has arrived for me....thank you God.



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